I did it - BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

So I went to see this cute little movie yesterday with Gymno. Ya know, I thought I was pretty liberal. In reality, not so much when it comes to gay men humping. The first time they were together, they were so rough. Where's the foreplay? One second they were pushing each other, the next...DIA. (don't make me explain that...figure it out). Are gay guys really like that when they have sex? I'm so curious now...actually, no I'm not. I don't wanna know! So the movie overall...didn't care for it. The scenery was breathtaking (who knew Canada was so beautiful!), the acting awesome, the story idea - a good one and the music, perfect. The end sucked, the slowness of the story coming together sucked, parts i didn't "get" sucked and well, the gay cowboys....sucked. Comments anyone else? By the way.....Gymnophobia loved it! I was so traumatized I had to go drink afterwards......sometimes I do need an excuse. OK no don't. And I was nursing a hangover (Brownie - my first Jager puke!!) - had to jump right back in there.

Ok here's the fixed song....enjoy! NOT WORK FRIENDLY! John Valby website johnvalbynation.com

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Happy John Valby Friday!

Happy John Valby Friday. Ya'll listen to this shi'ite dam it. It's good. Would Wet Spot steer you wrong? There are a couple of different versions to "she's a little sex pot". See next post for working version.

For the Ladies - How to Pee Standing Up

Now you hasher girls know how useful this can be. I really need to learn this! I stole this from Snatcha's blog...thanks girl!

http://myvag.net/pee/standing/ (why is my linky button not working??)

Later..it's John Valby Friday so check back for today's song (am I wasting my time here? Does anyone listen to these? You should - they're hilarious!).

Drunk Dialing

The thing about drunk dialing is you usually can't be too embarassed 'cause you don't remember doing it. I received 5 drunk voicemails last night within 10 minutes of each other...some drunk friend of mine who was lonely and wanted to talk to me. Poor thing. Seriously, I don't think I have ever drunk dialed. seriously.. But here's a link to a funny drunk message (page is not working...check back later. It's hilarious):

Guide to Drunk Dialing - www.frustrationnation.com/drunk_dialing.html

Shameless Advertising for Colorado Invihash

So today I am mailing my rego for Colorado Invihash happening over Labor Day in Durango, Colorado. Can you say Hotel campout? Hell yeah!!! How the hell do you get to Durango? Well, I found a flight out of Austin to Durango by way of Phoenix - 6 hours or so (hey, that could be fun?). Anyone wanna plan this trip? It's more fun traveling in groups - I hate to drink alone.

The Daytona 500 - Stewart & Kenseth, wtf???

So while all you wanks were gettin' drunk, running marathons and hashing, I was watching the Daytona 500. So Tony Stewart comes on the inside and knocks Kenseth's car into the grass. Then later on pit row, Kenseth bumps Stewart. Both drivers penalized. Stewart penalized like 3 frickin times. And he's the one that started all the hype about non-aggressive driving...used to hate Tony Stewart, gained a little respect back for him after last year (Nextel Cup Champion), then after yesterday, he's just a punk. What is up with that? You are driving a couple thousand pound piece of metal and you're gonna behave like that? Anyway, congrats to Jimmie Johnson (what a cutie!) for the win...and my baby Dale Jr for a 6th place finish....let's stay in the top 5 this year Jr, K?

Because of Chief Wounded Wiener, I learned something today

So do you ever think you know something, then find out you never knew it? I was posting a link to Chief Wounded Wiener's blog and when it didn't work, I checked the spelling. "Wiener" is spelled with an ie not an ei. Being the grammar snob that I am, I looked it up (I know, your thinking "how do you find the word wiener?" on the internet of course - oscarmeyer.com). sure enough, ie is correct. It just looks wrong. So something I thought I knew for sure, I never really ever knew. And I didn't even know that I didn't know. Happy Friday.

JOHN VALBY FRIDAY - After the Lovin' OK so it's still HNT...not Friday. Bite me. Here's a little titty...I mean ditty in honor of Valentine's Day. Enjoy. WARNING!!! DO NOT LISTEN TO AT WORK unless your work is cool. Check out his website where you can buy his cds - www.johnvalbynation.com


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We're all Queers together........

Happy Valentine's day to all the gay people!! Queers need love too.

Men, Men, Men, Men....

So I am stealing this from Buzzzz (thanks dude!) to help other women be more informed on how to understand men. Here is the explanation to the "friendship" excuse of dating someone. Funny stuff......

The "Maybe He Doesn't Want to Ruin the Friendship" Excuse

Dear Greg,

I'm so disappointed. I have this friend that I've known platonically for about ten years. He lives in a different city and recently he was in town for work, so we met for dinner. All of a sudden it felt like we were on a date. He was completely flirting with me. He even said to me, as he was checking me out, "So, what, you're working the whole 'model thing' now?" (That's flirting, right?) We both agreed that we should get together again soon. Well, Greg, I'm disappointed because it's been two weeks and he hasn't called me. Can I call him? He might be nervous about turning the friendship into romance. Can't I give him a nudge now? Isn't that what friends are for?

Jodi

Dear Friendly Girl,

Two weeks is two weeks, except when it's ten years and two weeks. That's how long ago he decided whether or not he could date a model or a girl who looks like one. Can you be a pal and give him a nudge? Nudge away, friendster — but watch how fast that nudge doesn't get a return phone call. And if your dinner/date did feel different to him, it's been two weeks and he's had time to think about it and decide he's just not that into you. Here's the truth: Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a "(expletive) buddy" situation or a meaningful romance. Go find someone that lives in your zip code who will be rocked to the core by your deep conversation and model looks.

I hate to tell you, but that whole "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse is a racket. It works so well because it seems so wise. Sex could mess up a friendship. Unfortunately, in the entire history of mankind, that excuse has never ever been used by someone who actually means it. If we're really excited about someone, we can't stop ourselves — we want more. If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further. And please, don't tell me he's just "scared." The only thing he's scared of — and I say this with a lot of love — is how not attracted to you he is.

Welcome PDD!

Dang, the houston hash has caught the blog bug. Welcome Pimp Doggie Dawg..one of my favorite hashers that I never get to see.

Here's my nasty azz poison ivy from Slut's bday campout. I think I got it from the Darkside (full moon?) hash after the wedding in my red bridesmaid dress.

WELCOME FIRE TUNNEL!

Our newest hash blogger...Fire Tunnel from the Houston Hash House Harriers. Check out her blog - http://tunnelvisionh3.blogspot.com (yeah, I'm a retard..haven't figured out the link thingy yet). Nothing there yet but ya'll link her and visit often. She's a cool chick and will have plenty to say.

Dang, that's MY butt!!

So I was cruising thru the pics from TXIH 2005, just to remind myself how much fun I had and how much fun I will have this year, and I come across this picture...."wow, spotty..you have a pair of shorts just like those...wait..a.. minute, that's MY butt!"
AG...you gotta check out these pics. This is what is to come for you this year, my dear!

http://www.sah3.com/flash/thumbnails.php?album=91

John Valby Fridays

Anybody else know who this guy is? He is freakin awesome. I have tons of his songs and they are hilarious. He sings Barnacle Bill, Eat Bite F**k Suck (my fave!), Bang Bang Lu Lu, Roll your leg over, and many more songs we sing in the hash. But he also sings regular songs that everyone knows only he has changed the words to make them nasty, nasty. Some of you may have heard Davey sing "I am Pussy" or Creme Filled from SA sings many of his. I am checking into the legality of posting them here but for now, check out his site....WARNING!!! BAD WORDS, TITTIES AND VIDEO!!! DO NOT VIEW AT WORK UNLESS YOUR PLACE IS COOL!! www.johnvalbynation.com

I'm a Virgin no more!

My first HNT post. Hey this was taken at last year's Tex Mex. I'm so much more hot now.....ah heck, who am I kidding. Be kind.

Happy Hump Day!

Sure wish I was getting humped today but it's not looking good so far. On a brighter note, I'm actually getting some work done....and I get to play volleyball tonight, then go drink some beer while listening to the Matt Deaton band (frontporchtx.com). Ole Spotty is gonna be a good girl and stay at home this weekend so I'll surely miss partying with all my blog buddies....you red dressers have fun!! And I know the ICBINM virgins will have a blast...my old body is just tired and I have to save energy for all the cool hash events coming up.

Your turn....

I tag Azzz Gagggger, BH, Trojan, Baby G and DBD. Who are your five?

The List - Number Five, baby - VAL KILMER

Can you say volleyball scene in Top Gun? I can watch that scene over and over and over and over...what's up with Tom Cruise playing in blue jeans?? He must have ugly legs. Don't remember seeing them in anything. But I digress...back to Val. luscious....

The List - Quatro, GEORGE CLOONEY

Loved, loved, loved him in "oh brother, where art thou?"!!!!

The List - Third, FERNANDO VINA

I know, I know, you're thinking "who the hell is that?" He used to play for the St. Louis Cardinals (GO CARDS!!). I have had the biggest crush on this little cutie since 1990 something or other. He looks much better in person. Uh well, I mean on tv live. I've never seen him in person.

The List - Number Two, SHEMAR MOORE

Dang, he's just hot, hot, hot!

The List - First, JARED LETO

So you know the Friends episode where Ross has a list of the five women he could sleep with "for free" if he ever got the chance, whether he was married, in a relationship, etc? Today you'll see my list....in no particular order. Here's the first one - JARED LETO.....yummy!!

My baby!!

Oh, Dale baby...I've missed you! Actually didn't get to see you much last year. Maybe you'll do better this year. New season starts Feb 11 - how cool. Maybe I can come see you drive in person this year. Texas Motor Speedway on April 9th. If only I had some friends to go with me and tell me where the best seats are. Nothing says redneck like nascar and beer!!

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-