Ode to Invihash

Woo hoo! I'm so stoked. So ready to go to Colorado for Invihash. About 200 people signed up now. Woo hoo. I'm excited. Is it here yet? Dang, I'm ready. Woo hoo. Woo hoo.

So I was looking over the list of who's cumming and thought I should point out a few peeps that you newbies need to put on your priority meeting list:

Flamin' Gamin' Beaver Cleaver - he looks a little strange with all his piercings but he is a downright cool ass, sweetheart, all around good guy. And tons of fun....

Fried Green Tits N Cock Pit.....sweeties....I love 'em.

Pi Whole - crazy sister of Full Service. Up for anything...love her bunches. Oh, and she's from MO - of course she's cool.

Ultrawimp - great conversationalist who loves to flirt with the girls. Thanks for the margaria 2 years ago! (did you read that you must have sex with wimp at invihash? - it comes included with your rego)

Sinbad - former Houston hasher. I think she's living on the ocean now. Way cool chick who has no need to wear shoes ever...even in the snow.

Shit Happens - watch out for this guy. I think he's looking for wife number seven. And I'm supposed to be #9 so I'm getting pretty nervous. Ask him his Palatka hash name.

BOB (Blacks on Blondes) - love him! Met him 2 years ago at invihash, hung out with him at Tex Mex last year. He was at TXIH in kerrville....super cool fun dude. He usually comes with Yucca....I think it's his secret to getting laid if he can keep from passing out himself.

Lost Her pussy and Up the Ass - One of my bestest hasher girlfriends in the world and he's alright too. You can usually find us hanging out together, rooming together, singing in the shower together.....

Chucky Cheeks - you have not seen an RA until you have seen Chucky RA. Most awesome RA'er ever. Full of jokes and laughs. If he's awake, he's laughing.

Unfuckable - Can you guess how he got his name? Ask him..he'll show ya...heh heh.

Keeps it Up - my hash brother. Tried to swim up the river at Gunnison CoTex. Funniest drunken thing I saw that trip.

Catwoman - Have her sing you a song. She knows tons I've never heard of. And I've been around over a decade. (well, I'VE been around longer but hashwise, i mean)

Hand Job and Erection Master - sweetest couple in Colorado Springs. Oh, after Full Service and QnA. They are the sweetest. Speaking of....

Full Service and QnA - love them. Full is my oldest hash friend. Former Houston hasher who went off and got hitched to a Colorado hasher. He took her away from me. But I love him anyway. I have many Full Service stories.....she's a hoot. And she's had a very hard year and come thru it on top. I'm so proud of her.

Meat Gazer and Midnight Stroker - my sis and mom. Love them. love them. they're awesome. Most of ya'll know that.

Follow the Bleeder - there are actually two of these. One loves to drink and then nurse a hangover, the other likes to drink, puke, drink more, then stick an iv in to recover.

bloggers - all the bloggers on here going are just way cool. I mean if you are reading this, you already know how important you are to me. Spotty loves her blogger friends!

well if you're not on this list, then I guess you just aren't that important to me or I missed your name or I just forgot who you are. ON OUT!

Get Down Tonight....Shake Your Booty...That's the Way, I Like It

So can you guess where I'm going tonight??

Hash Trash...Christmas in July

I must say, for a last minute hash, we did an awesome job and had a great time! Thanks for all who joined us. It was the perfect number of people and the perfect personalities for a wonderful day and party. I cannot stress enough, that if you like the little hashes, you must try a Brenham hash. Gymno and I know how to throw a good party and keep you entertained. Below is her writeup with a few pics. If you'd like to see them all, here's the link.

*_CHRISTMAS IN JULY HASH TRASH_*

(For your reading pleasure……If I missed mentioning anyone please forgive me – I was Drunk Damnit!!! Having said that, here is the scoop, as I remember it….)

July 29, 2006 Afternoon
*_PRE-TRAIL:_*

Well we actually pulled it off. The 1st Anal Christmas in July hash is now history! The hounds from Houston arrived right on schedule (CUMS ANYWAY, MCPISSER, LIL PUSSY, FUCK ME RUNNING) to join (WET SPOT and HAREY CUM) in the hash pool, the 1st to be in the pool and drinking - way to go Houston peeps and local BH3 hashers, we can always count on you to get the ball rolling!!! Shortly thereafter the rest of the Brenham hash appeared (GYMNOPHOBIA, HOUND DOG) and virgin (JUST ERIC), soon followed by the lone eATMe representative, (FIRE IN DA HO), and another H4 compadre, (THE PITTS). Soon after 2 more Houston stragglers moseyed in, (TINY BUBBLES, PUKE), and of course no Brenham Christmas Hash would be complete without our favorite hasher of all time, (HOOTER BILL) who arrived in perfect sync with the hounds as they were leaving to start trail, what timing!

*_THE TRAIL:_*

Our hare for the evening, (ROLLIN NUTLESS) did a great job of providing us with a little bit of this (shiggy creek crossing) and a little bit of that (small town shops and statues), and a little more of this (muddy bridge tunnel), and some more of that (neighborhood streets back to the pool). There were plenty of beer checks (3 of them)
on this hot afternoon and the hounds were most grateful for the ice cold nectar stops.

The 1st stop on trail was the “My Brenham Redneck Hash Name Is…” beer check and all hounds received a new ‘redneck hash name’ in keeping with the local Brenham culture and the Christmas in July theme. The FRBs were screwed at the 2^nd beer check when the hare was detained by the ‘local law’ for tail light violations. (ROLLIN NUTLESS) must be getting older when he no longer knows all of the cops in Brenham on a first-name basis!) And apparently this was a young’en eager to hand out a fine too. Luckily the hare had picked up two lovely beer check auto wankers at the first beer stop (CUMS ANYWAY, FUCK ME RUNNING) who winked and smiled enough at el Cop-o to reduce the ticket to a warning, despite the fact that RN had forgotten to remove his redneck nametag (“EMERSON BIGGENS”) while talking to the dude.

A few more hashers joined into the auto wanking group at the second beer check (TINY BUBBLES, PUKE, JUST ERIC, GYMNO). (JUST ERIC) commented that he rather enjoyed the auto wanking scene (yes, in Brenham we can ruin a perfectly good virgin, can’t we?). The remaining hounds could be seen off to the west on an elevated railroad track communicating with each other with whistles, shouts of ON-ON, and the occasional pause to moon the auto wankers. Just as we were about to leave, lo and behold! up cums the almighty *DONUT HOLER* keeper of all things Mosquito, on his jammin’ motor-sickle, all decked out in his awesome orange Mosquito Hash vest and ready to party! What a surprise! A few more hours of USA hashing for *DONUT* before heading out….who said HEAD?!!... As the remaining hashers (‘the true hashers’ (!)) continued
with trail, those that did not short-cut (!) enjoyed a wet, muddy tunnel with rumors of unconfirmed bat sightings, an elevated railroad track with a view of the downtown area, and more local scenery as they made their way back toward the pool.

Back at the ranch… (er, pool), the FRB hounds had found a way to entertain themselves and get cleaned up and cooled down at the same time. *MCPISSER* had discovered a great new hash formula: *pressure washer + available water hose = hash super shower!!!*



And he proceeded to soak down eagerly awaiting hashers as they made their way back in to the on-on, much to their delight! (See posted pics on Mosquito and eATMe egroups mailing that follows) This new invention promises to be a future hash necessity at summer campouts! Just remember you heard it first at the Brenham Hash! And then it was time for the circle…..

*_THE CIRCLE:_*

Trail ‘Accursations’ later on in the pool circle included HOMER SEKSUL (Harey Cum) who drank for triggering the gate warning signals on the tracks without a train in sight, just by walking past them on the rails (eerie!), EMERSON BIGGENS (RollinN) for his warning ticket and various #1 hash R.A. control and direction issues, *CANDY DUN ROTHERTEFF (Cums Anyway)* and *ANITA COCKTAIL (fmrunning)* for having to much fun
auto wanking in the truck and for saving the hares ‘arse, *LOU ZEN TEEF (DonutH)* as a stand-in for the absent Mosquito birthday hasher CRACK OF DAWN, W.E. BECUZZINS (Puke) for bringing up the rear of the hash while carrying the Global Hare Flag on trail, *COOTER (Just Eric)* for being a virgin and making himself cum, PINK LEE TORRIS (FireInDaHo) for tearing off EMMA I PURDY’s (Lil Pussy) shorts and proudly
displaying them as a necktie for the rest of the evening, *SHELBIE ONNERBEK (Wet Spot)* for having the hash over to play in her pool (I think), IVAN SCROTUMITCH (HOOTER BILL) for something that I can’t remember but he had the HOOTER BILL song sung to him, *MATEETHA ABUKK (aka IMMA GENE POOL BOVINE) (Tiny Bubbles) for something else that I can’t remember (sorry!), *ADOLPH OLIVER BEAVER (The Pitts)* for something I don’t remember (sorry again!) although he did show up with an old Brenham Hash signed turtle shell from the Re-Erection hash many, many hashes past so he should have drank for that if he didn’t, PO TATOR (McPisser) for various #2 R.A. difficulties (hash control issues, I think), OTIS T. FUDPUCKER, JR, III (Hound Dog) for something else I can’t remember, MY WIFE SIS (Gymno) for a false accursation (I can’t even remember my own accursation - but I’m sure it was false!)… Now if I
remembered all of those names correctly, it’s a hash miracle, I created the tags, I just wasn’t all THAT drunk (yet), or more likely any combination of the above!



*_THE ANAL CHRISTMAS GIFT EXCHANGE: _*

After eating a light dinner, the hash settled down to the main event – the GIFT EXCHANGE. The white elephant gifts were as lovely as always and no hasher could decide among the bounty of goods available for the pickin’. (Hahaha! If you believe that just cum to the next one!) Some of the more notable included; various liquors including *Irish cream, Jim Beam, Bud Light, St Arnolds, Samuel Adams, mini Mudslide, pina colada, long island iced tea*, etc…etc…etc…, a porn CD, hand-sewn hash-designer
shorts, a Nascar bucket and jug (how appropriate!), a smoothie blender, a butter dish(?), and 3, -that’s right, count ‘em, 3! – ‘perfect men’, two that promised to grow to 3 times their size in water, and one that talked to you when you squeezed it’s hand!* I probably missed some gifts but you get the picture…..

*_POST PARTY:_*

The hash scattered shortly after the gift exchange, some into the pool for *ADOLPH OLIVER BEAVER’S* pool races, some headed downtown for the Beatles Tribute Band, and a few stayed behind to sober up or chill out before heading home. All in all I’d say the 1^st ANAL CHRISTMAS IN JULY HASH was a success! Thanks to all of our way-cool-hash friends from everywhere that we always love to see! You guys are always a riot! On-On to the next event!

Signed, Your Day After Mucho Fun, Hash Scribe, Gymno